Tantrum

So, I had a total melt down the other day to my mom and my sisters. It was kinda ugly. I threw a flat out tantrum. I was going up to see Tay and swim at the pond with Kali and the kids. I got there almost two hours after I had planned. On the way up to Brigham City, I talked with Matt on the phone about how I had not been to see his pumpkin patch for a long time. I sensed in the conversation that he felt bad. I don't know if that was true or just my own guilt talking to me. After I got off the phone I worked my self right up. Feeling like I can't do everything I want to do. Maybe all that I have taken on this summer was catching up with me. Once I got to Taylor's house I ranted and raved to my mom and sisters about how I just can't do anything but stay home, how can I possible have more than four kids some day, I feel like I am drowning. I really was being a pill. Anyway, they kindly put up with my tantrum and Mom took my kids up to the pond and let me cool down for awhile. I felt so much better after my rant, time out from my kids and being in the presence of my calm, loving mom and sisters. I knew the whole time I could have made a better effort to go see the pumpkin patch and life is just crazy with four kids. All the craziness just welled up inside me. My mom is always serving others and pushing herself too, well far beyond what I can handle. I never see her lose it. I think I have said before she has super human strength! I am always so grateful for these wonderful women who love, support, comfort, listen and sometimes give me a candy bar. I can't thank them enough for all that they do for me! It was so much fun to see Kali this weekend and get to spend time all together.